Your Ultimate NO B.S. Guide
On How To Live Your Best Life
LIFE IS …
Fill in the dots
How would you complete this sentence?
Has it been this amazing journey of one blissful event after another or something quite different?
I had just turned 12 when our family learned our 7-year old sister was sick.
At first it was just routine tests trying to find out why. These tests went on for a year with a few wrong diagnosis before we found out why she was sick.
There were weekly blood tests, emergency visits to the hospital and after a while, home schooling.
3-years later …
One day our sister at 9 years of age came to each of us and gave us her most prized positions. Possessions we were not even allowed to touch normally. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
A week later, she passed away. She somehow knew she was going.
Although devastating, even in death we can learn valuable life-long lessons.
My beautiful innocent little sister taught me so many valuable lessons.
Many people have stories like this or any one of a thousand others.
The Truth is …
LIFE IS TRAGIC!
It’s certainly not one blissful event after another.
Financial hardship, health issues, bad breakups, loss and many others.
And that’s a good thing.
How can a tragic life be a good thing?
This may be hard to contemplate, but difficulties in life are essential for growth.
We don’t want them, we avoid them like the plague, we sometimes try to sweep them under the rug, but the truth is, without them, we can never truly grow.
Trials are sent for us to grow and it’s up to us if we choose to overcome them or choose not to. Life is not meant to be easy.
Life is meant to be better …
Life is meant to be constantly improved on ...
And how we do that is entirely up to us.
Any trial we encounter, simply means we have an opportunity to better.
Remember the old saying …
What Doesn’t Kill
You Makes You Stronger
When you go to the gym and exercise a specific muscle, it hurts. Without stretching that muscle, it cannot grow.
You put it under pressure, stretch it and fatigue it. It hurts, sometimes for days, but it doesn’t kill you.
When it hurts, you can vow to never exercise again or you can commit to keep going, so it doesn’t hurt as much next time.
Doesn’t that sound the same as when you have a problem to overcome?
Pain in all forms has a purpose, so don’t deny pain it’s job.
I’m not saying that difficult times are far from fair or easy to cope with, far from it.
And I still don’t understand why my little sister was taken away from us at such a young age.
But what I do understand is that, we have to look at every moment spent with a person we care about as a blessing. And hard to comprehend, but everything that happens to us has a lesson attached. It’s the lesson that’s important.
If we look at any type of loss or hardship under a positive light, there will be lessons and benefits. You just have to have the courage to look.
Depending on the situation, the last thing you will want to do is look for the lesson as you would rather crawl into a cave and hide from the world.
And that’s perfectly understandable.
But there comes a time where a person must move on, and to focus on the thought, what can I learn and how can I grow, is an amazing strategy to use to overcome any kind of grief or setback.
There is a tragic story about a 13 year old boy who disappeared not far from where I live. Almost a decade later, his parents finally found out what happened, and a man was charged with his murder.
Although a tragic story, his parents went on to form a foundation to help keep kids safe. They took the pain of losing their child, and made it their purpose to teach other school children the dangers of accepting rides from strangers.
Their Keep Kids Safe program is now taught in every school in Australia today. They took something so incredibly painful and turned it into a lesson and benefit for all families.
Although at the time of heartbreak, it’s impossible to even contemplate anything but hiding from the world. So, when the time’s right, use the pain of loss as your power to create something bigger than you. It will help you move on faster and make you better than before.
My parents took their heartbreak and built a playground for other children which is still in use many years later, and serves as a memory of our family.
If something in your life is out of balance, start saying over and over …
Don’t be afraid.
And ask for help if you need it.
We are not meant to struggle long-term; we are meant to overcome.
It’s part of our nature and part of our DNA.
To continue to stay depressed and defeated is not why we are here. We are designed to grow and strive to become better.
When my sister was sick, I would pray to God every night to make her better.
Even though she didn’t get better, and I didn’t understand why at the time, or for many years later for that fact, this period of time made me who I am today.
Many people ask God for their lives to be better.
The hard truth is, we are seldom given what we ask for, but what we are given are …
The Opportunities To Become Better.
Isn’t that a better way to learn and grow?
It reminds me of a story where a lady had to climb on the roof of her house to avoid rising flood waters.
Before long, a boat came along and offered help. She said no, as God was coming to save her. The boat left to help some other people.
The waters kept rising, the lady move higher up the roof and another boat came. She again replied no, God was going to save her.
The water kept rising and the lady was now as high as she could go on the roof. This time a helicopter can and offered help. The lady again said no, God was going to save her. The helicopter left to get fuel.
Not long after the lady was swept away and drowned.
When the lady arrived at the pearly gates, she asked God why he didn’t come to save her?
God replied, I sent 2 boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?
Opportunities to learn, grow and be better sometimes come in unusual and hard to understand ways.
The point is, we are not given solutions on a silver plate, we are given ways to be better, and then it’s up to you.
Although extremely difficult, even the most tragic experiences have valuable lessons to teach us.
Joy is not fake,
it is a deep-seated belief
knowing the fact you can face trials
and know you can meet them.
Joy is anchored in the depth
of a much bigger purpose.
All is Well
Master Just Three Simple Life Strategies, And Transform Your Life Forever
But first, congratulations on taking this very important step towards improving your life.
It takes courage to admit something isn’t working in your life, and takes even more courage to seek out solutions and to do something about it.
What follows is more than just fixing a single aspect of your life you’re not happy with, or feel it may be holding you back in some way, it’s a comprehensive guide to living your best life, no matter your past decisions or your current situation.
There’s a big difference between wanting your life to be better in some way and living your best life. But what if you could combine the two and achieve both? Killing two birds with one stone so to speak …
Here’s Exactly What You Will Be Getting …
ONE – A simple explanation on the reasons why mastering three simple strategies can take your life from being one of so, so, to one of joy and anticipation.
TWO – How you can improve any aspect of your life in 3 easy steps.
Let’s get right to it …
Improving a person’s life is a relatively simple process once you know the root causes of what throws it out in the first place.
What’s not so simple to fix, is what makes us so uniquely human.
You might ask, what’s mastering three strategies got to do with having more money in my pocket or going to help me lose weight?
These three strategies working together, are the key to improving everything. Without them as a base, any type of long-term self-improvement is going to be much harder and in most cases, destined to fail.
Keep in mind, either strategy will not work on its own, there needs to be a symbiotic relationship of all three in order to achieve the best results.
Two of the strategies will make perfect sense, the other one maybe will be more challenging to get your head around. But once you do and combine all three together, stand back and watch the magic happen.
How hard is it to improve an aspect of your life?
First of all, you need to understand the cause of why things fall off the rails.
Why don’t people want to change?
The premise of this book is improving lives.
The majority of people will never go out of their way to change.
People are happy with how they are, and while even though are not happy with parts of their lives, their weight, their finances, their lack of excitement, it’s lack of meaning …
They are not willing to step outside their current comfort zone, because they know that will be hard, and when things are hard, that means discomfort and unhappiness.
So, it’s better the devil they know than the one they don’t.
Why do we get problems in the first place?
The reasons why we have problems in our lives is long and varied.
But, let’s take a look at the most common causes anyway …
- Body image
- Bad Habits
And, here are some of the reasons why people avoid change …
- It’s too hard
- They like their comfort zone
- They have never been taught how they can have anything different
- They just don’t care
- They are scared
If other strategies have not worked for you before, or if you relate to any of the points above, why not try something new and totally revolutionary this time?
Every single little thing you do on your new journey will have a positive impact on your life moving forward even if you don’t see it through.
CHAPTER 1 – The Catalyst For Change
The reason I’m baring my sole and ugly past is not for pity, but to show that unless someone has a catalyst for change, they simply won’t change.
The catalyst might come in the form of a health issue, a financial problem, a relationship breakdown or the accumulation of enough is enough.
Here is my catalyst …
Extreme desperation, along with feelings of being lost, utterly hopeless and feeling like I was trapped in a never-ending nightmare was my reality. At one time, that was me.
I had lost my businesses, the family home, every cent I had, almost my family and still owed more money than conceivable. I was in the eyes of many, a failure.
After exhausting all possible ways to crawl out from under the mess I was in financially, spiritually and relationship wise, I felt useless. I knew that wasn’t really the case, but after all the yucky stuff hit the fan, it sure felt that way.
The exact recovery process I’ll be sharing with you was developed from these, let’s say, educational times for the sake of the truthful word.
CHAPTER 2 – The Decision To Change
And, ultimately step one of the key to all success …
From those times of pure desperation and the search to find some form of recovery for my wife and young family, I went on to develop a crystal-clear clarity as to where I wanted to be, and, what I had to do on a daily basis to live the life I dreamt of, and so very much desired for my family.
But don’t be mistaken, this didn’t happen overnight, and finally only worked when I stopped everything I was doing, took a long deep look inside as to who I really was, and eventually decided to commit to …
JUST ONE THING
Why just one thing … because I instinctively knew, if I didn’t get this one thing right, no matter what effort I put into fixing other areas of my life, (and there were many) I knew they were destined to fail.
My past had the habit of repeating similar mistakes and never really moving forward. And I didn’t want a repeat of my past this time.
After much soul searching, I discovered one thing that had been missing my whole life … and, I had always been too busy to notice.
… No matter how hard I worked …
… No matter how hard I tried …
… No matter how much money I made …
… No matter how hard I challenged myself …
… No matter how hard I played …
… No matter how hard I did anything …
My missing piece was never there, or at least, there for long.
Nothing I did had a long-lasting effect.
And no, it wasn’t because I had a bad attitude or was a negative thinker.
I had been living my whole life with the assumption, when I get this or do that, it would bring me some sort of satisfaction and enjoyment.
Boy, was I wrong.
My One Thing, and the missing key to my life finally working, was simply …
… Being Happy NOW …
No matter what situation I was in or where I was.
Maybe this is common sense to you, but for me, I had it all backwards and my thinking was twisted.
As long as I could remember, I was never really happy for long periods of time.
I didn’t care about happiness, I cared about business growth and success where-ever it came from. For me, happiness would have been a by-product of achieving the success.
My whole life has been void of this one thing and my whole life has been one long struggle. Nothing was ever easy, and nothing ever came to me without sheer hard work. Nothing ever just flowed.
Business was hard
Relationships were hard
Even being in love was hard
I’m not saying any of this to start a pity me party, and yes, I am coming to a very important point …
I know you are probably happy, but remember if you don’t combine Strategy 1 (Happiness) and strategy 2 and 3 together, creating change will be hard work and not long-lasting.
We are all guilty of focusing on the wrong thing at times.
Be happy with what you have now, with where-ever you are now, and start changing from that point.
The answer is … BE HAPPY first and before all else, and the rest will flow like water.
Yes, everyone’s story is different, and I’m not talking about a person’s whole life being an unhappy one, but sometimes, the wheel of life being out of balance can create a bumpy road.
If even one life aspect causes some sort of pain and unhappiness, and stays that way for a prolonged period of time, then this can have an on-flow affect into other areas of life as well.
Before you know it, another life aspect is causing trouble, and soon, without noticing it, the downward spiral has begun.
Just one thing can hold you back from living your life to its full potential.
Even though my dreams didn’t come to fruition overnight, once I made the decision to not be the non-smiling miserable angry serious person I had always been, my whole outlook on life changed. True story!
HOW TO BE
HAPPY IN LIFE
I had spent my whole life being busy chasing rainbows without realising what it was I was actually chasing. (I was a really slow learner).
I finally figured out I only wanted those things because I thought they would bring me happiness and I would only be happy when they arrived. I had it all backwards.
The fact is, ‘material things’ only give happiness for a short time and then it’s onto the next thing. Kids are a classic example of this, give them a toy and they are happy for a short while until they become bored. Then they want something else.
Being in love is great, but being happy first, and then being in love is even better.
Many people think being in love will make them happy. Yes, that’s true, but start with happiness as the precursor and watch the difference in your relationship.
If you are single, get happy first, lose the desperation and wait for the right person. Just like in the movie Field Of Dreams, and the famous line, build it and they will come. Be happy first, and the “right” person will magically show up.
I had been single most of my early years.
Looking back, I now realise, I had an air of desperation around me. It was more a dark stormy cloud that sent the message, stay away. This was the desperation of wanting a partner and to not be single anymore.
Most of my friends were now married and If I wanted to go out, it was on my own. I remember coming back from a night out totally despondent at how invisible I seemed to be. I was so over this scenario repeating itself over and over and vowed to make some changes.
I made a list of the qualities of my perfect partner and put it in a drawer.
It was time to be happy with what I had and to not focus on what I didn’t have.
I decided not to go out anymore in the hope and sole purpose of finding someone. If I was to meet someone, great, and if I didn’t, it was meant to be. I wasn’t going to let it bother me and get upset anymore.
At the time, I was renting a 2 bedroom unit and decided to rent out the spare room for some extra cash.
I place a room for rent ad on a local hospital notice board and within a few days the room was rented out.
As if by magic and not a hint of desperation anywhere, a week later, the girl that rented the room and I were together. And it was not me that made the first move.
That was 18 years ago and now we are happily married with 2 kids.
The moment I stopped looking and stopped focusing on what I didn’t have, the dark aura around me was gone. This allowed what I wanted in my life to appear without effort.
Several years after I made my ‘perfect partner’ list, I found it in my drawer, and to my amazement, every quality I wrote on my list was a quality my wife had.
Since then, anytime something is being being blocked in my life, I simply let it go. In most cases what I want appears, or the problem rectifies itself.
If you continually focus on what you don’t have, you will continually get what you focus on.
Once the decision is made to be happy, all those other things you want, will come a lot more easily.
Believe it or not, but if you’re happy, you send a different wavelength out into the world and people see you in a different light for the first time. Opportunities start to present themselves and your confidence naturally grows.
The opposite also works, be miserable and you might as well be invisible. The only people that see miserable people are those who are on the same frequency.
When life is really crappy, it’s hard to put a smile on your face. Fake it and pretend that everything is rosy.
One day when my young son said to me, Dad, why don’t you ever smile? Naturally, this hit me like a ton of bricks, but it also got me seriously thinking. This was the day it all clicked, and I realised I was blind to the small things that bring happiness. This was the day I realised, I had it all backwards.
For the first time in years, I made the decision to consciously smile at people for no reason. 2 things happened … let me tell you, the smile muscles in your face actually hurt if you aren’t used to using them, and second, people actually smile back. It felt really odd and nice at the same time.
The point is, no matter how hard you work at something, unless you are happy first, fixing anything in your life will be so much harder.
How to get started …
Start with those horrible tasks, for me, it’s doing the dishes, and make a conscious effort to do it happily. Make it fun to do instead of begrudgingly having to do it. Think of why you are doing it and how it helps the family.
Think about it, we all have boring jobs to do, is it easier doing them happily or as a grumble-bum?
I always remember the Anthony Robbins story where he went with some mates to stay at a monastery. Upon arriving he found out part of the deal to stay there was to do chores. He was assigned to do the dishes, much to his dislike.
After complaining about having to do such a mundane job and how it was beneath him, it was explained to him by a monk that it’s not about the job at hand, but how we approach it.
The monk advised Robbins, to approach every job with joy instead of regret and dislike. He thought about this and instead of rocking the boat, changed his approach to doing the dishes.
He started to make the task a fun one and very soon, his whole outlook on mundane tasks changed.
Try this next time you have a boring job to do.
Watch what happens and observe your mood as you do it, and at the end.
Do this with every task, look for ways to have fun and if something annoys you, let it go for a change..
Instead of chastising the kids, let it go.
Leave the TV off and play a family game.
Change your routine.
Do something you enjoy and haven’t done it for a while.
Most of all, go the whole week without complaining, not even once.
Keep a daily journal to monitor your thoughts, moods and happiness levels.
Send me your happiness results on the XTL Group Facebook Page …
As simple as it may seem, being genuinely happy is strategy one and the first one for good reason.
Give it a go and feel the difference.
The key to being happy in life is accepting where you are in life and making the most of every day.
Don’t waste a minute not being happy. Life’s too short for anything else
If one window closes, break down a door.
Don’t cry over the past,
Don’t stress over the future,
It hasn’t arrived yet.
Live in the present and
make life beautiful.
Remember, being happy doesn’t mean you have it all. It simply means you’re grateful and happy for what you do have.
Yours in Happiness – XTL
Be happy now, it’s one way of being wise.
CHAPTER 3 - Knowing Our Life’s Purpose … AKA … Why We Are Here …
Why is it important to know why we are here?
Why not just float along doing the minimum, and just wait and accept what happens?
First of all most people, not all, like to have meaning in their lives, some sort of goal or challenge or something to look forward to and are working towards.
Without this, life has little point and is more like an existence rather than a life.
People only do things for one of two reasons.
The first one is by force or compulsory commitment …
Where people have to do what they are told, or they don’t get paid. Getting paid feeds the family, keeping a roof over your head and general living expenses. Most people would not do what they do, if they didn’t get paid.
Cooking dinner, washing clothes, cleaning the house and many other similar chores are an essential part of living. Imagine not feeding the kids and the drama that would cause.
We have no choice in carrying out these important tasks.
Even though these responsibilities can get monotonous and tiring at times, we can choose how we do them. You can do them begrudgingly which puts you on a downer or you can do them knowing what you are doing is for a good cause.
Good for you, good for your family, good for your place of employment and your financial security, and good for keeping a positive mindset and outlook on life.
The second one is by conscious effort …
People have the luxury of choice, whereas the rest of the animal kingdom doesn’t. For example, try and tell a lion to become a vegetarian and see what happens.
The other benefit the animal kingdom has over people is that they instinctively know the reason they are here in the first place.
Animals know from day one their daily purpose, and simply do it without hesitation or objection.
People and Purpose fall into four categories …
- The Drifters … these are the people who don’t put much thought into why they are here and what their life’s purpose is meant to be.
They generally drift and accept whatever comes their way. They follow what they are taught at school, get a job and work hard for the rest of their lives. But after that, they don’t question their position in life and what might be possible if they pushed their limits.
- The Conscious … These are the people who are aware there is more to life than just floating, but don’t consciously dig deep into the reason why they want what they want. They dream, set goals and work hard, but in the end, and more often than not, miss their target or find themselves unfulfilled when they do achieve the end result. Life still seems to lack true meaning.
- The Seekers … These people actively search for the answer to why they are here and their life’s purpose. Although commendable, the sad fact is, and I’m going to get a very loud disagreement here, most people get their life’s purpose wrong.
They are led to believe, purpose is connected to vocation, or family, or spirituality, or one of many other worthwhile causes.
Many seekers never actually find that for which they are searching.
They often think they do, but still have a feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
The Enlightened … I’m not saying enlightened as in a monk sitting on a mountain meditating, it’s more a small version of enlightened, as in they know their life’s purpose. They know why they are here and work every day towards that ideal.
It is widely promoted; a person’s purpose is unique to each individual. This is a misconception and the fact is, every single person on planet earth has exactly the same purpose.
Once a person has this realisation and accepts it’s validity, life immediately becomes much easier.
The constant search for life’s purpose ends, and the feeling of something is missing from my life and sense of unfulfillment is gone.
This then allows the dedicated focus on the achievement of this one purpose.
How can that be? Just one purpose for every single person?
Stay with me.
The majority of people don’t know their life’s purpose. And many of these people then spend their whole lives in search of it, but still never find it.
The reason most people never find it is because they think their purpose must be individual to just them.
So, What is my one purpose?
Imagine the humble bee … what does it do every single day?
Bees collect pollen and nectar to take back to the hive as food to feed the colony.
And, this is where the misconception about purpose takes place. You could think, a bees purpose is to collect pollen for the hive, but it’s not.
People can do many different things …
- Looking after the family
- A singer
- A sports person
- A boss
- A charity worker
- A teacher
And they might be great at it, but all of these are not in the least related to purpose.
People can believe any of the activities above are their purpose and what drives them.
And that’s great, but just like the bee collecting pollen or you doing whatever it is you do; these are your job, your goal, your passion, but not your true purpose.
You might be extremely passionate about whatever you do, but it is still your job.
You might say, it’s my purpose to help people or save the environment, that’s great, but no, it is your job.
An argument could be had that because humans have a more developed brain, they can have more than one purpose.
This is a valid point, and this is also where it gets confusing.
For example, many people believe that it’s their life’s purpose to help disadvantaged children.
They could say; I have made it my purpose to help disadvantaged children.
Some past event has led them, either consciously or unconsciously to make it their goal or job to help children. They are so passionate about helping, they have made it their life.
Although a worthwhile activity, it’s just part of a much bigger picture.
The Bigger Picture
The bee collects pollen, but thinking deeper than that, what is the by-product of the bee collecting pollen to feed the hive?
The bee helps pollinate plants and trees in order for them to reproduce.
The trees purpose is to absorb carbon dioxide and in turn release oxygen.
Without the bees creating this reproduction process, no plants, no trees, and therefore not enough oxygen for all living things to breathe.
The same can be said for plankton providing up to 70% of the earth’s oxygen. They breathe in carbon and release oxygen.
The king of the beasts purpose is to keep the herd populations resilient and healthy. It does this by culling out the weakest of the herd, which in turn keeps the herds free from parasites and diseases. Without this, disease would increase, resulting in fewer healthy animals and larger than acceptable herd populations.
You could argue, part of the bee’s purpose is to feed the hive. True, but think about it this way …
You go to work to feed and house your family. Is this your most important purpose, or your job and responsibility?
You could say yes, it is my purpose as the sole provider to feed my family.
Imagine you are single and live on your own, is it still your purpose now, or just something you have to do to survive?
Think about it.
If every single animal species on the planet has its own singular purpose, then why should humans be any different?
It’s because humans have a complex brain, they tend to complicate and overthink everything.
We have the opportunity to do anything.
We have the power to follow our passion, to pick the job we want, to set goals and to pursue them and to do many other things. And this is good.
Bees don’t get to choose their purpose, Mother Nature did this for them, just like it did for every other animal on the planet. It doesn’t matter how small an animal or organism, they all play an important role in the survival of the planet.
If each animal species has its own purpose in the survival of the planet, why should our complex brain thing we are special and deserve to be different?
If every single person focused on the exact same purpose, the majority of our problems would not exist, but more on that later.
Do you know the power of this question?
This question is THE MOST POWERFUL QUESTION you can ever ask yourself, as it is also provides the solution to fix any aspect of your life that you are unhappy with.
THE BEST WE CAN BE!
Imagine if every person held this philosophy and strived each day to be better than the day before?
How much better would the world be?
- Less fighting
- More patience
- Better health
- More kindness
- Less stress
- Increased happiness
- The list is endless
By every person being the best they can be, imagine the possibilities.
We are all here to make the world a better place, simple as that.
By striving to become better, by default, every single aspect of our lives automatically improves.
We become the best version of ourselves we are meant to be.
Our individual problems won’t seem as important and in time, dissipate.
This in turn makes the world a better place to live.
Just like the bee fertilising the trees and the trees supplying oxygen for all living animals to breathe, doesn’t it make sense for all of us to have the same singular purpose?
Imagine striving to be better each day, won’t that help you in every other area of your life as well?
Won’t that make you better at business?
Won’t that make you healthier and increase your energy?
Won’t that help you raise better children?
Won’t that help you increase your income?
Won’t that help make you a more loving partner?
Won’t that help you lose weight?
Our purpose is not to become the best teacher or the biggest business tycoon, it’s simply to be the best we can on a daily basis.
And by doing this first, your other goals such as being the best teacher or business tycoon are much more easily achieved.
I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s worth repeating.
And sure, it won’t happen overnight, but everything has a starting point. So, start from where you are now and make today your starting day.
Don’t you deserve better?
Doesn’t your family deserve better?
And by being the best you can be, doesn’t your family automatically become better by default?
CHAPTER 4 - Just One Thing
Multi-tasking is a fallacy made up by people who aren’t organised or focused enough to stay on task.
Yes, I know I probably offended at least 30% of the population, but let me explain. There are many professions that require people to multi-task; and this is ok. But this is more management, and management is multitasking.
Where it falls down is when someone jumps from one job to another, and never finishes anything on time or properly.
That being said …
Strategy three, is the key to getting everything done and the key to extraordinary success.
The most successful people do one thing better than most, and that is, they only do One Thing.
Apart from the compulsory daily tasks every person has to do, their One Thing or main priority is the reason why they are so successful.
The best sports people don’t play more than one sport.
The best business people stay within one niche. And the narrower their niche, the more successful they become.
The best trades people just focus on a very narrow section of their trade and they become very skilled at it. They become an authority.
The best lawyers focus on a single aspect of law. They don’t practice all types of law.
Doctors become a specialist in one particular area of medicine and not all areas.
The best person in any field, lives it, breathes it, studies it, develops it and sometimes even loves it.
And when someone becomes the best, they get paid accordingly for it.
My kids play multiple sports to give them a bit of variety and for them to find out what sports they like. While good at all the sports they do, they know the time is coming where they will have to choose just one sport and focus on it if they really want any chance at getting to a higher competitive level.
Just One Thing relates to absolutely everything you do in your life.
… You go out on a date for the first time … are you going to give your full attention to your date or spend half the night on your phone? …
… You start a new business … are you going to get distracted by the next bright idea that comes along and take your attention away from what you should be doing? …
… You want to fix up the house … do you jump from one task to the next and never finish anything? …
… You want to increase your income … do you spread your options and time over multiple ideas, or focus on just one, and become an expert in that? …
A work example …
Freelancing today has enabled people from countries all over the world to earn a higher income than if they were to just work within their own country and earn their countries standard pay. They have become part of the global workforce because of the internet.
Here’s the problem and the solution.
From my personal experience in hiring many freelancers, the majority of these workers say they are experts in multiple different skill sets. They might know a bit about each skill set, but they are far from experts.
Very rarely does the job you hire them for get done to a high standard, because they are a “Jack of all trades and master of none.”
They are doing both the client and themselves a disservice. They are creating a ‘lose-lose‘ situation.
If they were to focus on just one skillset and one skillset only; such as just doing Facebook for example, and became such an expert in that one skillset, several things will happen …
- The client will get what they want, and is very happy. A win for the client.
- The client stays long-term with the freelancer.
- The freelance only has to learn about one skillset only, and in time, becomes an authority in it.
- The freelancer is able to increase their hourly rate, thus earning more money than if they focus on multiple different work skills.
- The freelance will never be out of work. A win for the freelancer.
The freelancer is now acting with integrity which is a big part of living your best life and living your purpose.
It’s sad to say, but 99% of the freelancers and even many people in my own country say and promote one thing, but in reality rarely deliver, leaving a bad taste in your mouth and a hole in your wallet.
If more people in business acted with more integrity instead of falsely saying they are an expert in all areas, more people would win, and you would be happy with the result and happy with what you pay.
At the moment, especially on the internet with online services and online info packages sold, there is a massive ‘win-lose’ situation happening.
The provider gets paid, but the client more often than not gets shoddy work and a poor result.
Here is my whinge … there are so many lies, fancy marketing tricks and amazing sales pages promoting the world, but delivering little. It’s so easy to get sucked in and then, all of a sudden, your wallets so much lighter.
WARNING and a Word of Advice, never believe a sales pitch and never buy anything on the spot, especially at a free webinar or actual physical event. Take the advice they offer, do your own research and keep your money in your wallet. You will be much better off.
The Bottom Line Is …
If you really want to excel at anyone thing or complete anything efficiently, the key is, just do one thing at a time.
Do this and your life will move ahead in leaps and bounds. You will be amazed at how much you will get done.
CHAPTER 5 - The Makeover
Before we get into the nuts and bolts of fixing an aspect of our lives or for some, a whole life makeover, there needs to be a few disclaimers and ground rules.
Fixing an out of balance life area is relatively easy, what’s not so easy is keeping it fixed.
When you have an area of lack or discomfort in your life …
Or are unhappy with your weight for example, you tend to focus on the negative and what you don’t want, instead of what you do want.
It’s a catch 22 and hard habit to break when negative thoughts are such a big part of daily life.
This is why being happy with what you have now is so important. This allows you to focus more easily on the things you can do to improve and become better.
Change the negative thoughts into happy ones, knowing the fact that you are taking positive steps toward what it is you do want.
So here goes …
All people … consciously or not, seek out the following things.
Love, Peace and Joy.
When all three feelings come together with living your life’s purpose, and your life areas are aligned and in balance, they bring about a truth of who you truly are and a sense of inner tranquillity.
This is why it is so important to work on you as a whole and not just different parts, so you can then experience true Bliss and Love.
Imagine driving down the road with a flat tyre, the trip is going to be pretty bumpy and the car hard to steer.
Your life is exactly the same as a tyre, if you have one or more flat or irregular parts to the circle, then be prepared for a rough journey and a hard to steer life.
Same as a tyre, the rounder your life wheel is, the smoother your life journey will be.
The main aspects on The Wheel of Life are …
Family – This includes your partner, your children, parents, relatives
Health – This includes eating a healthy diet, exercise, recuperation, meditation
Career –This includes personal career goals, providing living essentials, achievement
Financial – This includes security, building for the future, wealth planning, goals
Relationships – This includes friends, associates, romantic relationships, pets
Spiritual – This includes self-reflection, connecting with something bigger than ourselves, search for meaning
Personal Growth – This includes continued education, emotional intelligence, self-improvement, goals, challenge
Recreation – This includes doing activities you enjoy, adventure, travel, time with friends, hobbies, sports
If you spend all your time at work and not much time with the family, it might be ok for a short time, but pretty soon, trouble will raise its ugly head.
Take some time and plot out your life on the wheel of life to see how well your life is balanced. 1 being low and 10 being bliss.
The goal in time, is to focus on creating as round a wheel as you can.
Let’s get started …
Taking the lessons you learned above………………………………….
CHAPTER 6 – How To Have More Available Money
Disclaimer: The following solutions are not to be taken as financial advice, and are not to be taken as a concrete solution to your financial situation. For expert advice, please contact an accountant or financial planner.
Everyone’s money situation is different; some want more money to get or do things they enjoy, and others want more money to survive. Either way, here are some solutions that can help.
You can …
- Start a business
- Reduce expenses
- Ask for a pay raise
- Consolidate debt
- Sell something
- Get a money manager
There are many reasons for the lack of available money. However the shortage was created, it’s more productive looking for solutions to the problem, than focusing on the lack.
Talking about money is like opening a can of worms as pin-pointing a solution has many governing factors.
- Spending more than you make
- Unexpected bills
- Health expenses
- A bad business debt
- Losing your job
- And so on …
Step 1 – Create a budget with all incoming incomes and all outgoing expenses.
Ideally, track every single expenses over the period of a month. As soon as you buy a coffee, write it down. After the month, add in any upcoming odd payments not reflected in your current monthly budget.
- School fees
- Car expenses
- House expenses
For accuracy, divide odd monthly or longer period expenses into pro rata monthly expenses to get a more accurate monthly budget.
Next is the fun part … do you earn more than you spend?
If not, can you …
- Reduce some expenses
- Do without some unnecessary items such as coffee – drink water instead, it’s free
- Sell things you don’t need anymore
- Reduce utility expenses such as turning off lights when not in the room
The point is, cutting unnecessary expenses is a great start to help get back on track.
If money is really tight, and you are overdue on payments, there is always the option of engaging a money manager who will take over the management of your income and expenses and also negotiate payment plans on your behalf.
Consolidating debt is a good way to combine loans to reduce higher interest payments, thus reducing your repayment amounts.
If employed, you can always ask for a pay raise. But, before you do, research the best ways to ask for more money and work out why you justify getting paid more is in your bosses best interest. In other words, what is the ‘win-win’ scenario.
Although all the suggestions above can help, the next strategy has far more potential.
Start Your Own Business
I know, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but hear me out …
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are looking for a quick fix, this is not it. Plus, I’m not going to suggest something I don’t believe in and I’m ruling out businesses that require a large start up cash input.
With the internet today, you can start a business easier than ever.
- Very low overheads
- Zero staff
- Start it in your free hours
- Work on it from anywhere
What sort of business?
- Take your skills and start freelancing – This is a faster fix than most
- Take the One Thing you would do, even if you didn’t get paid, and turn it into your own passion-based business
- If you can write, start a blog and learn how to monetize it
- If you have a product to sell, start your own website and start selling. Additionally, get other people to sell it for you and pay them a commission
- Create a consulting or information course and sell it over and over again online
What to avoid …
While many people make good money online selling other people’s stuff, this particular market is ruthless and more a money pit for most who try it.
Getting sucked in by the overwhelming amount of promise the world and deliver very little online operators. If it sounds fantastic, research it, but be prepared to run. And, never buy anything from a physical event. Learn from it, but leave your wallet at home. This comes from experience.
What to focus on …
As per above … JUST ONE THING … after stacks of research, pick one niche and become an expert in it. Make it your one and only focus; which is why you should make it a passion based, or something you are skilled at.
CHAPTER 7 - Health and Fitness
Part of improving your life and eventually going on to living your best life is being healthy and fit.
Being healthy is the key to productivity. It gives you energy, confidence, improved memory and helps the body fight disease.
Imagine how much additional energy is being used when you carry around extra weight or how hard it is to stay focused when continually tired?
Health and fitness must, yes must be high on your to do list.
How do I become fit and healthy? …
- Get enough sleep 7 – 8-hours
- Exercise at least 3 times per week – see chapter 8 for more details
- Eat healthy foods – see chapter 8 for more details
- Take time out for quiet contemplation or learn to meditate
- Take time out for relaxation
- Laugh often
It’s not hard to improve your health and fitness, but it does take continual commitment. Start slowly and watch the changes, you will be surprised.
CHAPTER 8 - Weight Loss
Losing weight is easy.
The problem lies with us.
Losing weight is as simple as …
- Eat these foods
- Don’t eat these foods
- Eating the right quantity
- Eat at the right times of the day
- Starting an exercise program
It’s as simple as that.
Anyone can start the points above, but the majority of people very rarely stay on task long-term.
It all falls in a heap, because of our emotional attachment to the types of food we eat. This is the hard part of losing weight.
Our brains are trained to like sugar and most other unhealthy foods. And, if that’s not enough, the big company marketing does the rest.
Another reason weight loss diets fail is because food can often be the only good thing in people’s lives.
Some people live each day with nothing exciting to look forward to and no one special in their lives. Often the most exciting part of their day is their favourite food which more often than not, unhealthy and bad for weight gain.
How Do You Start?
The easy step x step system
- Start with chapter 1 and 2 – Being happy now and living your best life. It is important to be in the right frame of mind before you kick off anything new.
- Eat these foods and drink these liquids
- Foods that grow in the ground or on a tree
- Fish and other seafood
- Lean chicken
- Water – filtered if possible
- Soda water
- Unprocessed dairy
- 70% dark chocolate – 4 squares only
- Whole grain or multigrain breads
- Brown rice, wholemeal pasta, wholemeal and multigrain bread
- Don’t eat these foods or drink these drinks
- Fried foods
- Foods containing preservatives
- Fruit juice
- Take away food
- White rice, white bread, processed pasta
- Avoid pasta, bread, rice after lunch
- More than 1 glass of alcohol
- Candy and chocolate
- Ice cream
- When can I eat and how much can I eat?
This depends on a few factors like age, body composition, sex and activity level.
That said, here is a guideline …
Your main meals are breakfast and lunch.
A snack mid-morning and mid-afternoon.
Dinner should be no later than 7 pm and smaller in size than the other 2 meals.
Do not eat pasta, rice or bread, potatoes for dinner (carbohydrates)
I don’t like the taste of healthy foods
I know the feeling; I would prefer to have ice cream than yogurt and berries.
We often have Asian homestay students stay with us and when they first arrive, they do not like western food what-so-ever.
The tastes are so foreign to them, you can see they don’t like it.
This will be the same for many moving away from unhealthy foods to healthy foods. It will be hard at first, but after a while, your taste buds will adapt, and you get used to the new tastes.
You will get a boost of energy that lasts the whole day, and the mid-afternoon slump will not be a factor anymore.
If I have something unhealthy now, it almost makes me sick, my body instinctively knows what I am eating is bad for me. And, the next morning, I lack energy and vow not to eat those types of meals anymore.
If the goal is to lose weight, which is why you are reading this chapter, the average calorie intake should be 2000.
Here is a sample 2000 calories a day healthy eating example
All meals can include filtered water, straight or with lime
Soda water at night
If the hunger pains get the better of you, fill up on water to make yourself feel full.
Exercise sessions – exchange pre exercise meal with a protein shake.
The Simple Protein Shake
I scoop of your preferred protein with 300ml of water or low-fat milk in a shaker. Or use unsweetened almond milk or rice milk. DO NOT use soymilk, as the majority of soy products have been genetically modified.
Make sure the protein has a full range of all 9 essential amino acids. Some vegetarian protein powders do not contain all 9, thus they may not be as effective.
The Ultimate Protein Shake
- 400 ml of filtered water
- 17 natural almonds or a small handful
- 7 walnuts
- Rolled oats – small handful
- Half avocado
- 1 banana
- 1 scoop of protein powder
- Spinach leaves – handful
- Kale leaves – handful
- 1 beetroot – peeled
- Frozen blueberries – handful
- A dash of cinnamon
- A florets of broccoli
- Heaped teaspoon of cocoa powder
Yes, that’s a lot of ingredients, but I did mention it is the ultimate protein drink and it is more like a meal than a drink, and extremely tasty. Plus, it will keep you going for hours.
A non-exercise day …
1 egg on a rice cake with avocado and 3 cherry tomatoes
Small serving of natural rolled oats with small serving of fruit and low-fat milk
1 cup of Greek yogurt and handful of mixed berries
A handful of almonds or mixed nuts
A piece of fruit
2 cups of mixed greens
¼ cup of chopped tomato
¼ cup of chopped cucumber
2 tablespoons sunflower seeds
½ turmeric seasoned chicken breast chopped
Sugar free dressing to suit
1 piece of fruit or berries
Handful of spinach leaves
¼ cup of chopped tomato
¼ cup of red kidney beans
¼ cup of quinoa
Small portion of crushed Danish feta
½ piece of cooked salmon
2 tablespoons of mixed sunflower and chia seeds
Sugar free dressing to suit
1 piece of fruit or berries
1 piece of fruit
12 seeded crackers with ¼ cup of hummus
1 slice carrot with ¼ cup of hummus
1 serving of deboned chicken leg topped with Dijon mustard and cut almonds and brazil nuts
3 small vine grown baked tomatoes
1 sliced carrot
2 florets of broccoli
Toss ingredients with olive oil
Bake chicken and carrots on 200 C for 25 minutes, add remaining ingredients and bake for a further 10 minutes on 175 C
1 serving of grilled wild caught fish with lemon-garlic sauce
5 pieces of asparagus
½ cup of quinoa
Frozen mango or fruit of choice
Spoonful of Greek yogurt
Dash of vanilla
1 square of 70% dark chocolate
Dash of Cinnamon
Blend together to make healthy ice cream
Remember, this is a treat, so, every second night if you must.
The internet has stacks of healthy recipes. Just make sure you stay away from preservatives, packaged foods, store bought sauces, sugar added foods and keep your meal size smaller.
Remember, fresh is best.
- If struggling, go to your Physician and ask for some hunger suppressant medication to help defeat the hunger pains.
Changing your eating habits, will help, but to effectively lose weight, you need to start an exercise program as well.
Your budget will govern what exercise you can do, so take what works for you from the list below and get started.
Ensure you see a physician before starting any exercise program.
- Boot camps
- Get a personal trainer
- Group exercise programs
Any exercise that lifts the heart rate will assist your weight loss goals.
Start with happiness as your base, know being healthy is a big part of your life’s purpose, start eating healthily and throw in some regular exercise and you will be well on your way to a new slimmer you.
I know weight loss can be hard, but stick with the plan and don’t give in to the temptation of unhealthy foods. Keep in mind your goal weight and how you will look, and if times get tough, ask a friend for moral support or better still, get them to do it with you.
CHAPTER 9 – Relationships
Let me ask you a question.
If you worked on these three things …
- Worked on being happier
- Make your Life Purpose a priority
- Just Do One Thing
Would that improve your life?
And if your life was better, how would that help improve your relationships.
How would the people around you react if you were happier?
How would the people around you react if you constantly strived to live a better life?
How would the people around you react if you gave your full attention to them instead of being distracted by the phone or TV?
Can you start to see how doing all these things will improve every part of your life?
What’s stopping you?
CHAPTER 10 – Family
The information in the chapter above, applies here as well.
The only difference is with kids; they think of love as quality time spent with them.
If you focus on Just Doing One Thing when with them, how much impact will that have them over the course of their lives?
CHAPTER 11 – Career
Sometimes work can be a drag, stressful and frustrating.
There was a time in my life, I despised my business/job and I mentioned this to a mentor of mine, who got me thinking about all the benefits it provided for me.
After this enlightening conversation, I decided to switch my dislike into one of gratefulness. Within weeks, my business was making more money than ever before. I even went on my first holiday in years.
The point is, even though many of us don’t actually want to go to work for a variety of reasons, it does allow us to put a roof over our heads, plus many other living essential.
Try turning around any dislikes you may have and focus on being grateful for the benefits.
Go to work tomorrow with a new improved attitude, a stronger work ethic, and the thinking, how can I do my job better.
Remember, everything in life should be a ‘win-win’. A win for you and a win for your boss or place of work.
How you think, is how miracles happen.
Who knows, you might even get promoted or get a pay raise, or in my case, the business starts making money.
CHAPTER 12 – The Odd Fix
There is a multitude of area’s a person might want to improve in their life.
The secret to improving every single one is mentioned several times in this information.
Take and scenario and apply these strategies …
Be happy always
Follow your purpose and make it your overriding guide in everything you do.
And, for achieving more out of your life than ever before, just Do One Thing at a time.
CHAPTER 13 – Destructive Habits
It doesn’t matter how much you work on improving an aspect of your life, if you have some kind of destructive behaviour jeopardising your efforts.
Habits come in all forms and without going into any specific one, they can seriously hold us back from all kinds of success.
If you have a bad habit, you will need to beat it, or all your efforts will be in vain.
Make breaking your habit part of living your best life.
Leave it behind and replace it with another habit that will assist your growth instead of stopping it.
It takes an average of 21-days to form a new habit, so make today, day one.
How to improve your life in just 7 days
Prior to day one, sit down and plan out your week.
What healthy foods will you need to stock up on?
What foods do you need to remove to avoid temptation? If it is not in the house, it makes it harder to eat. If it’s not healthy, go hungry until it is.
Make happiness a priority.
Make every decision a ‘win-win’ decision.
Work on being your best self in everything you do.
Pre-plan your One Thing for each day of the week.
An example could be …
Monday – Be happy at work
Tuesday – Spend quality time with the kids
Wednesday – Clean the home office
Thursday – Organise a fancy date night
Friday – Plan how to increase income
Saturday – Clean the yard
Sunday – Finish money increase plan
Focus on doing this for the next seven days, and when done, sit somewhere quiet with a notebook and reflect on how your week went and how it made you feel.
Then it’s a simple case of repeating the same process over and over again until it becomes a habit.
For a daily version …
How to have your best day ever …
The night before …
- Prepare a protein drink
- Plan the most important ONE THING you will do tomorrow
Your Best Day Ever
- Wake up early
- Do not complain about anything for the whole day
- Drink half your protein drink
- Go for a walk or do some form of exercise
- Drink the rest of your protein drink
- Work on your One Thing, before going to work. This is the thing you want to get started as a project or the thing you want to achieve for the day
- Go to work and make a conscious effort to say hello to people you don’t normally greet
- Transform your personality into a happy one and note how it affects people
- While at work, focus on one thing at a time and don’t get distracted
- Don’t check or react to your emails or phone messages as they appear. Set several times during the day, but don’t let them rule your day
- Remember, no complaints today
- Eat a healthy lunch and mid meal snacks
- Monitor your mood throughout the day to keep it up-beat and don’t let normally monotonous tasks affect you. Work on them with a sense of importance instead of a sense of when will this be over
- Make this workday your best ever
- When getting home, greet your family with the new you. Show your interest, ask them about their day and spend time with them. They might wonder who stole the old you, but that’s ok
- If you don’t have kids, a partner or pets, go out for a long walk and think about how it will feel when the new you starts to appear. Think about all the things you are grateful for right now. Think about your newfound happiness
- If the time is suitable, go back and work on your one thing or leave it till later when the house quietens down
- Do not watch TV tonight
- Help with preparing a light healthy dinner and cleaning up after
- Spend time with the kids if any, and sit down and actually talk with your partner
- Find a quiet place and reflect on how the day was different
- If something didn’t go right, don’t stress, just reset and work on making it better tomorrow
- Plan tomorrow and repeat …
And Most of All, Do the Right Thing
What does that mean and how will it affect your life?
Doing the right thing goes a long way to living your best life.
The positive aspects are …
- It makes you feel good
- It is ‘win-win’
- It is going the extra mile
So what is doing the right thing?
- Ringing your mum if you haven’t called in a while
- Putting the phone down and giving your full attention to the kids
- Picking up a piece of rubbish
- Helping out at work when you don’t have to
- Saying a nice word
- Helping someone you don’t know
- It’s even as simple as saying please and thank you
You get the idea …
Doing the right thing, going out your way with no expected return.
Try it, it will make you feel good.
The Bottom Line …
Living a better life is simple …
- Eat Healthy foods
- Be Happy
- Do the best you can at all times
- Have some “ME” time
- Focus on doing One Thing at a time
- Be kind
- Do the right thing
- Think ‘win-win’ at all times
- Follow your instinct, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it
- Show you care
- Lead your family by example
- Set goals
- Have something to look forward to
- Make wise decisions
- Say yes to life
- But, sometimes you have to say no
- Allow yourself to be inspired
- Most of all …LOVE
The Bottom, Bottom Line
Find a way to make every aspect of your day happy, even if it’s not.
Do everything you have to do with a newfound joy.
Strive each day to make it your new best day.
Although we do many things each day, make sure you accomplish, or make progress on your One Thing.
Am I Doing The Right Thing?
Before doing anything on your better life journey, ask yourself if it is right or wrong.
Many of us are programmed to do the wrong thing without even knowing it.
- Am I talking behind someone’s back?
- Should I really be putting chewing gum under the seat instead of the bin?
- Should I be eating this cake?
- Am I telling the truth?
- Should I jump the que?
- Am I talking with a kind voice?
Make your every decision, every action a ‘win-win’ one, and make every decision, a right choice.
This is how you can live your best life …
Simply, think before you act.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A
‘WIN-WIN’ IN EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE?
If not, what’s stopping you?
You will be surprised how doing the right thing makes you feel, and how much your life will start to improve.
When all is said and done, the light has left your eyes and there’s no more breath to take …
What will you be remembered for?
What will be your regrets?
Whether a millionaire or a pauper, were you happy?
Did you have joy in your life?
In the end, what’s the point if life has no joy, no happiness, no love?
When on one’s deathbed, remembering back on life, you realise that fame and fortune is meaningless in the face of death. You can hire people to do things for you, but you can’t hire someone to take on your disease or give you some of their available years.
There is one thing you cannot get back when it’s lost and that’s – LIFE.
That being said, it’s imperative you treat yourself well, live your best life and love others.
As we mature, we slowly start to realise life is not about material things or brand names …
… Jeans worth $100 do the same job as ones worth $300 – They fit the same, wear out at the same time and both keep you warm …
… A watch can cost a $100 or over $1,000 – Both tell the same time …
… You can buy a 4-wheel drive for $50,000 or a fancy brand name one for up-to $250,000 – They both drive well, but in this case, I know for a fact, the cheaper car will take you to more off-road places than its expensive counterpart …
… We can live alone in a large mansion or alone in a tent – The point is for all the examples above, if we have no joy, companionship or happiness in our lives, then the loneliness is still the same …
True happiness does not come from “things”.
Whether you’re living first-class, somewhere in the middle or are on the poverty line, unless you are truly happy and have real friends to talk and listen to, does any of that material stuff really matter?
People and purpose are what really matter.
Don’t get me wrong, material things can bring a lot of fun and enjoyment, but they won’t bring you long-term happiness. Work on meaningful connections, true happiness and joy first and you will pleasantly find your path to the little material extras will be an easier one.
Here are your 9 BEST FRIENDS in the world
- Joy and Happiness
Keep these friends extremely close, trust them implicitly, never forget them or leave them behind.
DO NOT teach your children to focus on wealth, teach them the importance of value and teach them to be happy.
FOCUS on building loving relationships, for it is love that keeps us together when we feel like moving on.
RELATIONSHIPS take time, don’t always be in a hurry. Slow down and work as a team. Children think of LOVE as TIME with them, and not what you buy them.
TREAT your food as your daily dose of “this is saving my life.”
FIND your reason for being here and live your best life every day.
Where-ever you are in life right now, know that one day, it will be your last.
Openly show love for your family and friends, take care of yourself and live everyday better than the day before.